Awakened

"A good organization should be concerned with its people's career paths, are your companies concerned about your dreams, your aspirations and your career paths? If not, this is the perfect time for you to leave them because you'd have no future with them," said my professor one Tuesday evening and she kept me thinking hard and long. Could she be throwing that question to me in particular? Well, I should thank her for making me see the signs, for waking me up from a deep sleep, for making me face the hard fact that I don't belong to my present organization because I'm made for something better. What's keeping me from leaving then? A few reasons surfaced...I never wanted to leave the comfort it gave me, the routine, the mastery of my job that's seemingly getting stranger and stranger in each passing day now, the fear of change, that unfounded fear of not getting something better. It's a shame to be out of work having two mouths to feed like it's my lifeline, so afraid I could not support them by any other means, that cost me my dreams of dreams. What is it that I dream most? I asked myself a lot of times. Hmmmn, it's a tough question I guess. Because I could not find the answers, because I'm stuck with the thought, the belief that something better exists out there. A great dilemma, isn't it? One thing is certain, I just feel like I'm stuck in a hole, an abyss and could not find my way up no matter how hard I swim my way up, no matter how hard I tried to blend in with its culture and identify myself with the way it does things. I am unhappy, I don't feel I belong and I feel unwanted most of the time. No one sees my competence or nobody puts justifiable weight to it, no one cares to value it. So, what's the use of sticking around? I am not giving justice to what God is making me for. I know I am made for something better, this I always tell myself and this is the thing that I wanted to believe. I am made for tough challenges, for mind-boggling ones, I can't find contentment in boring routines, in rotten office politics and dirty manipulations. I want to be maximized, can't anyone hear me?
This time, I know this is for good. I've made peace with myself about those unfounded fears I had, the doubts set straight, the focus is the future. Something good comes along I know. I must conquer my fear, if the birds up in the sky could live freely and so joyfully, there's no reason a person as special as me can't do the same. Reminds me of the song Mission of Man with this line on its lyrics "You are never forsaken, like the sparrows all over the sky, you maybe badly bedridden oh man, yet trust and you'll never die." So long as I have trust, I have faith in God, my maker, for sure, I won't die.
Thanks Dr. Chaves for waking me up...I'm glad to be liberated from the bondage of unfounded fear and ignorance. I have to go to find my way, to spread my wings in a bigger and happier world. Thanks Nissin for all the comfort you have allowed me to taste for the past seven years, I feel so honored. I love you much but I could not permit my growth to be hindered, I hate to leave but there's no other way. Thank you for helping me find true friends, true people who shared my life, who helped me live a fuller one. Goodbye is a bittersweet word yet I know this is for the BETTER. I wish you prosperity and good tidings in the years to come. Till we meet again.